1-15-06
Jon Sobolewski
Sobeball.com
From the archives...
Today shapes up to be one of my most stressful days as a sports fan and I slept maybe two hours in anticipation. The Steelers today prepare to face the Colts in a game that nobody gives them a chance to win and Pitt, still a major unknown, faces Louisville in a crucial pseudo-top 10 matchup on the road.
Of course, the real dilemma is: they both start at 11:00AM MST; what do I do? Normally, a displaced Pittsburgher like myself would only get the Steelers game, but not me; I purchased the ESPN Full Court package. I have a dynamic two television setup in the living room which consists of one “barely fits in the giant entertainment unit opening” television and a 13-incher that my roommate Tom and I “borrowed” from our neighbor. We did not steal it, she just ended up moving out because her roommates, a loud-mouthed New Yorker (still a dear friend) and an right guard of a Greek girl, put her toothbrush in the toilet and stole her cocaine (okay, I made that part up, but she had those eyes). Nearly five years later, I still have the television, fairy sticker and all, and it gets 74 channels and works great with a Playstation 2 while your girlfriend is watching Project Runway.
Two tv’s and all, I still could not watch both at the same time. It’s just not fair. It’s not fair to Hines Ward or Aaron Grey because who works harder than these guys. Seriously, Grey has transformed from Sloth in the Goonies to Aaahnould in Conan the Barbarian. So my decision was DVR Pitt and watch the Steelers live. My reasons:
1. I can get through the Pitt game much quicker (is that really a good reason)
2. There was way more chance somebody calls me rejoicing in a Steelers win
3. If (and I never believed this if) the Steelers are getting killed, I can switch to the Pitt game which will already be completed
4. Playoffs vs. Regular Season: Coverage of Steelers win would be priceless to watch (and I did too, a good four hours of ESPN News, NFL network, Sportscenter, and Primetime) so I can’t miss it immediately following a win.
5. History: A Steelers win would be too great not to see live
So I made my mind up and I called my Dad, who would inevitably jump back and
forth like a maniac and get so angry that he would give up on both teams for the season, but keep watching, to tell him not to talk Pitt during the Steelers. Now I’m ready, its 9:00AM and ESPN is beginning its Sunday NFL coverage.
Here is my running dialogue of the day:
9:10 “Wu- Tang Clan aint nuttin to fwaaa wit!” My phone ring blares edited Wu-Tang Clan as my buddy Cohen calls from Philadelphia territory. Matt knows his stuff, even though he is an Eagles fan, and he feels the Steelers win and Pitt loses. This is shocking coming from the guy who is almost solely responsible for fighting Pitt administration to create the Oakland Zoo, and if he wasn’t so nuts, would be heralded as a saint for all the work he put in. Also, he hated the Steelers so bad while living in Pittsburgh that he told several players that he would vomit on them. Maybe his picks show he is on to something and I’ll take it, but only because this would be historic.
9:41: “Wu- Tang Clan aint nuttin to fwaaa wit!” Ollie calls from Raleigh to discuss the Pitt game because Ollie is a Cowboys fan. Should I be talking to him? Anyway, he has plucked himself a seat at a sports bar in the heart of ACC country to watch the game. Our conversation consisted of:
Ollie: What do you think today?
Sobe: Don’t call me, I’m watching the Steelers game
Ollie: You get Full Court
Sobe: Don’t call me, I’m watching the Steelers game
9:58: DVR is set to record the Pitt-Louisville game.
10:03: Look at Michael Irvin, how is he on the air still? Giant hypocrites at ESPN, they made Allen Iverson look like the anti-Christ a couple summers ago and he didn’t do anything, but leave this guy on who’s been caught with drugs more times than Dwight Gooden and Daryl Strawberry combined. Rush Limbaugh didn’t even say anything wrong (just stupid) and they kicked him off. Plus, Irvin is not really even that good. How about more Kenny Mayneski or what about Gilbert Brown? That would be awesome. The way Gilbert Brown’s belly hung out of his Packers jersey was just incredible; so incredible that he could beat the whole ESPN crew in tug of war. Irvin just rambles about Indy scoring a lot and the Steelers using trick plays, proving that he rarely shares anything that I don’t. Of course, TJ knows his stuff and Steve Young is dead on target today. Young says the Steelers should unleash it today. Thank you! That’s right Steve, the Steelers should play the Bellicheck way, take what they give you. You don’t have to force the run. Young, you could be on to something.
10:06: Joey Porter fighting clips: mine is bigger than yours. In Pittsburgh he is just being a badass, but really he’s just being a jackass. Only in sports do we approve of this, in any other workplace Porter would have been on probation and now in jail. I’m glad we have him.
10:24: “Wu- Tang Clan aint nuttin to fwaaa wit” Vince on the phone:
Sobe: I got the dog in his Steelers jersey
Vince: I’m rockin’ the terrible robe
Sobe: How unfair is this today? A pseudo-Top 10 matchup for Pitt and a Steelers playoff game. I’m beginning to doubt the existence of God.
Vince: That’s why we got two tv’s set up in the basement by the bar.
Sobe: thank god for DVR. I lectured my Dad last night not to talk about Pitt until after 5 PM mountain time or my call.
Vince: I think Colts 27-25
Sobe: That’s what I was afraid to hear.
Vince: But wait, my sports instincts have been totally wrong of late, it’s a good thing. I had Georgia, Florida St., and USC (a mammoth text-messaging battle between us) wrong in BCS games, and I picked the Bungles last week.
Sobe: Thank god for Martin Luther King Jr., I wouldn’t make it to work tomorrow.
Vince: Yeah, civil rights are cool.
10:35: JAWS update: Nick Harper gets a stab wound from his woman, but will start. How in the what?
10:36: ESPN runs an SNL Bears clip. Chris Farley such a tragedy. Yes!!! Kenny Mayne on the piece. SNL was never better than that cast. Celebrities doing “Da Bears” impressions: Rob Lowe, Cuba Gooding Jr., Sarah Silverman Josh Dummel?, Michael Jordan (who I saw at a kick-boxing event on ESPN2) Chuck Norris in an effeminate manner (huh?), Michael J. Fox, Lance Armstrong, and James Denton? Turns out James Denton is on Desperate Housewives; why would anybody who is watching pre-game coverage with anything in their pants know who this guy is? Why?
10:52: How could Nick Harper possibly play after having his wife stabbed him and now she is in jail? How is he not a complete wreck?
10:56: I move over to CBS and Marino wins the season long game picks trophy. Good to see you won something Dan.
11:01 YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!!
11:07: Big Ben throws beautifully for 38 yards to Heath Miller, yee-hawwwww. And yes, I am Polish cowboy.
11:09: 18 yards to Heath Miller. Who said we wouldn’t use the tight end? Of course we would use the tight end if we had a good one.
11:11: Could it be any more clear that the Colts are going to make us throw to win? Steve Young and I are totally on to something.
11:13:First Bus sighting, awesome blocking, 7 yards. Is there a better guy than the bus? TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!! Big Ben to Randle-El!!!!!!!!! EASY-PEEZY!!!!!!!!! Ben goes 6-7 for 76 yards. Could the game start any better? Except now Peyton Manning gets his turn, but Steve and I are so right.
11:17: Dominic Rhodes to the 20, YES!!! Good special teams coverage from the Steelers. Oh know, that means hell froze over.
11:18: I will attempt the impossible: go shopping with my girlfriend during the playoffs. Great commercial.
11:19: Call # 1 to Dad:
Sobe: “Could it start any better?”
Dad: “No, but they were in the backfield on Parker every time. We did expose the middle. I’ll be on pins and needles all day.”
Leave it to my Dad to even be pessimistic after that greatest possible start.
11:20: Enberg mentions that only few Steelers fans are at the game. Damn, this could be troublesome. No, wait-a-minute, these are Steelers fans, of course they are there. It must be the CBS acoustics.
11:21: Colts: 3 and out. Peyton Manning 0-2. Maybe they should put in Jim Sorgi.
11:22: My girlfriend is making coffee. I hate the smell of coffee. It smells like burnt hair and Indian food mixed in a diaper (You stay classy Pittsburgh). But remember, this is 11AM Sunday morning, which follows Saturday night.
11:24: Another tight end catch, “It’s not a Tuuuuu-man,” but Parker gets stuffed; Dad must be squirming. My Girlfriend says Big Ben looks like a chubby version of a German kid we know. Huh?
11:25: Indy intercepts and Ben gets smashed. He threw that one like the chubby German kid we know. It’s okay, except that really gets the crowd going, except for the fact that Indy fans are so weak that they have to pipe in fake crowd noise. The Colts are rusty, just like the pre-game talk said, so this is a huge break for the Steelers and Ben is still playing awesome, so I’m not too worried.
11:28: Manning looks shaky, it’s probably the first time he has thrown three consecutive incompletions; except for games against the University of Florida and the Patriots.
11:29: Meet the Barkers DVR recording schedule pops up. Are you serious?
11:30: Manning 0-4 and I can hear the Steelers fans cheering.
11:32: First real Pitt basketball worries. Should I watch 15 minutes at halftime?
11:35 Wow, I am speechless, I am without speech. Shockingly, Alan Faneca can’t help Starks on a block and Ben gets trucked. How can Faneca not help on it? My brother honestly believes Faneca is the biggest and toughest man in the world. Case-in-point, my brother, who is 6’3” and solid, has to stitch Faneca’s forehead up, but the problem is Faneca won’t sit down. So my brother, an intern at the time, is up on a stole and he is scared to death that Faneca may lift his pinky up and block him into the Monongahela. Point of the story is, my brother says Faneca is a big tough hunk of man. No?
11:36: Easily the best play yet: Hines gets big yardage and delivers a stiff arm on Bob Sanders- EWWWW!!!!!!!! No he didn’t! Hines Ward is a bully and he even stays up with a personal foul against him. On the play, Nick Harper goes down; of course he does, his wife stabbed him in the knee, one more time: STABBED HIM IN THE KNEE.
11:37: Great NFL commercial: “Drew Rosenhaus really knows how to manage his clients.” Has there been better sweet justice this year?
11:38 Former Beverly Hills 90210 star Jason Priestly gets a sitcom called Love Monkey, that’s a winner. Pencil it in at next year’s emmys.
11:39: 13-0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heath Miller!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ben friggin’ rocks.
11:41: Pizza’s here. I will fight you that Buffalo kickers are better than wings.
11:42: Dad call #2: The old man thinks Heath Miller is the best draft pick ever. But my dad is actually more excited because Jeff Reed gets a touchback.
11:45: It took 45 minutes, but we get the first Troy Polamalu hair talk from the dynamic duo of Dick and Dan. There are three inevitable things in life and two of them occur during Steelers games.
1. A Troy Polamalu hair reference/joke
2. Gravity
3. Jerome Bettis weight jokes. Seriously, we get it, the guy is tubby, big frickin’ deal. I’m tired of shots of his ass, its not a pleasant experience for anyone, so quit it CBS. Maybe I’m glad he is retiring?
11:46: I wonder: Can the defense play any better as Manning gets crushed again. This time it is James Farrior with the sack, but I’m still terribly scared of 3rd-24. The Steelers get off as many times on third downs as nuns do. We stop them with a dangerous screen to Reggie Wayne. Sister Euphemia of the Five Wounds is in heaven. PUNT TIME.
11:54: Can’t breathe, can’t stop laughing, hilarious commercial with monkey Xeroxing butt.
11:57: Sobe: WOOOO!!!!,
12:01: Worst non-pass interference call ever. Alright, worst pass interference call since last night. I truly believe Marlin Jackson sexually assaulted Randle-El. Call the cast of CBS’s new hit drama CSI-Indianapolis to check for fluids.
12:03: Parker for minimal again. Let’s get the Bus on or lets go designed quarterback run because Big Ben can’t run any better since he just left Freeney’s jock on the field. Vick can run? No, Ben at 245 can run. Who’s more impressive? Don’t answer that.
12:05 “Everything going the Steeler way.” –play by play Damn right, Gardocki punt takes the best punt bounce ever, straight up at the 2. Gardocki is my Dad’s most hated Steelers player. Following every win or loss, his post-game criticism always includes a rant about Gardocki. Last week included:
1. Could he kick anymore punts into the endzone?
2. Does any punter have less hangtime?
3. I’ve heard he’s a bad kisser.
12:09: Most obscure reference ever by Dick, what the hell is a Roman crossing guard? I’m sorry, I’m 23, I have a master’s degree, I don’t get it.
12:18: Goal-line drama: both teams exchange pre-snap penalties and the net result is 2½ yards for the Steelers as we come to the 2:00 minute warning. I’m scared to death here, I have no idea what they’ll do here. I feel like a kid sitting in the principal’s office who just got caught with zerox copies of his butt. Edgerrin James Stuffed!!!! “This is a stout defensive football team against the run.” Damn right it is. 14-3. Vander-jaaacktttt for Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
12:23: Alright, there is 1:20 to play in half, we have three timeouts, and the Colts cannot stop Ben throwing the ball; Let’s get some points boys. Except, there is no chance the Steelers do anything, but sit on the ball. I guarantee it.
12:24: Pathetic screen and Indy takes a timeout. That’s quite bold, but apparently the Colts have no respect for us. In his best move yet, Dierdof mocks the Colts in his most haughty voice ever says, “Whaaaaaaaaaaawpping 3 points.”
12:26: Pathetic draw. Pitchers are more successful hitting doubles than the Steelers are with screens. Please Bill, you have to go for the jugular to win this one. (Looking back, how much would have even three points here helped?)
12:27 Looks like holding on Indy, would have been a touchdown to Randle-El.
12:28 Another pathetic draw. Humberto Cota is
12:30: Dad #3: “That is going to come back to haunt us. We are reasonable smart people, we know.”
12:32 HE RUINED THE PITT GAME FOR ME. Pitt down 39-32. How did he ruin it you ask? He didn’t say anything, but he is badly upset at halftime and it can’t be over the Steelers who are on the verge of the biggest upset I have ever seen them involved in.
12:49: 17 minutes after I talked to my Dad and only five basketball minutes, it’s Pitt 56-51, I watched it all, I must be good luck.
12:53 Now I’m flipping for the next 3:00 to play for Pitt, I can do it, plus when Pitt is on, I have the Steelers on the little TV.
12:55: Bettis is like a turtle, if he gets on his back, he’ll have a hard time getting up.
12:58: Could we run another crappy screen?
12:59: Ollie text message: “I’m on the edge of my seat” Pretty original man.
1:00: 2:00 to play for Pitt. 1:15 to play, horrible desperation heave by Fields. Offensive rebound to Gray and he’s fouled! Misses another free throw, to go 1-6 on the day.
1:02: (FIRST HEART ATTACK) Ben’s hand is hurt. Oh my God!!!
-only seconds later-
1:02: (SECOND HEART ATTACK) Taqauen Dean for 3. 59-57 with 53.3
1:04: No Pitt timeouts, UL press, I can’t breathe. Easy press break, Ramon loses it, but we get it back.
1:05: (THIRD HEART ATTACK) UL gets two wide-open threes, but misses both and Krauser gets slammed going for the board.
1:06 Krauser for two free throws with 11.6. CLANK. In and out.
1:07 Dean misses a 3. Gray rebounds and fouled with 2.1
1:07; The Buss for 8 down to the 12
1:07: Gray, little ugly but good, again, a little ugly but good. 4-point lead. 2.1 to play.
1:08 Bus to the 1, first down.
1:08: Ollie text message: “coronary” that’s much better dude.
1:08: Pitt wins!!!!!! Top ten now baby 14-0!!!
1:09: Best moment of the day: Krauser smacks a photographer on the ass.
1:10: Dad call #4: Krauser, a senior leader? C’mon!!!!!!! Wining son of a bitch Pitino. (BETTIS SCORES!!!!!!!!)
Dad: Hold on, I gotta wave my terrible towel.
(21-3 Steelers)
1:13: This is setting up to be jinxed, but this could be one of my greatest sports days ever if the Steelers hold on.
1:14: CBS shows Bus’s bottom half and says “Those thighs could crush someone’s face.” Can you say “Turn On.”
1:16: Ollie call: What’s with Krauser’s cocky face? He can’t make a free throw and touches old guys’ butts.
Sobe: (to myself) sounds like you Ollie.
1:19: Manning sends off the punt team on 4th and 2 in their own territory, but they get it. He has two cantaloupes in his jockstrap. Do they make cups that big?
1:24: Polumalu makes a great play on a Reggie Wayne screen.
Robin: He’s like Bugs Bunny, he’s so fast. It’s like he could play tennis against himself.
1:24: Dallas Clark 50-yard TD. The “farm-kid from Livermore, Iowa” outruns our whole secondary. WTF!!!!
1:25: 21-10, Don’t be a punk Cowher. Find your cantaloupes.
1:27: Tom Sellick in “Jesse Stone: Night Passage” tonight. Even better Tom Sellick moment. This guy Kevin I teach with actually found his autobiography in our school library. Several questions pop up here:
1. Students unfamiliar with Tom Sellick may see his mustache and realize the book is a porn of some sort.
2. Is anyone cheesier than Tom Sellick?
3. Did you ever see Mr. Baseball? Sellick is way better movie baseball player than Bernie Mac, but still far behind Kevin Costner. The best thing working for Tom Sellick is he genuinely looks like Keith Hernandez, I was 12, so what if I bought it.
4. In our school library! No wonder America unfairly blames the schools for screwing up their misbehaving and unwilling to learn kids who sit in classrooms with 34 other kids and expect teachers to give them individual attention. Look at their reading selection. I’m a teacher and I’m growing suspicious.
1:30: REQUISITE STEELERS GRAPHIC: 9 straight running plays
1:30: The Steelers face a huge 3rd and 2 in the first big play of the game. The play comes up two inches short of the yellow line, which is easily the best television sports coverage invention ever.
1:32: Were going for it. Penalty. Steelers please. No idea. No penalty!!!!! Refs say nobody for the Colts touched. Four guys did. Fine, they missed a Faneca false start, but they didn’t call it. Bottom line: REFS BLEW IT. Poor communication. Fine, just get the first down. Could these refs blow anymore calls? (Wow, I wrote that)
1:35: Uh-oh, we got nothing, ewww, late surge, I bet we have it. Good spot, no great spot and we have it by more than a ball’s length.
1:37: The replay reveals a play much better than Reggie Bush’s cheating push of Matt Leinart to beat Notre Dame (still pissed about that one; how could they spot the ball on the one AND stop the clock? But that’s how USC won one BCS championship in three years, yes that’s right one.) Anyway, the Bus went missionary style on Ben to push him forward.
1:40: After nine yards and then a no gain, we face another 4th and 1. No it’s the second play of the game. We send the Bus to the right behind two of the worst starting lineman in the Cowher era and it is so close, but we get it, even with a horrible spot!!!
1:41: Great shot by CBS: Peyton, gives a shrug and a vein is popping out of his forehead. How pissed is he? He knows that all he needs is to get the ball and not play Florida or the Patriots.
1:43: We go with a sweep on 3rd and 5 and we lose three yards. If Cowher is just gonna give in on third down there, we should have just went two yards up the gut and make it a 49 yarder, but now we have to punt. We are going to need those three points.
1:45 Manning picks his nose, he’s ready.
1:45 Steeler punt, touchback, 18 net yards. Not a player in site to make a play on the ball. Typical Gardocki, now Cowher has somebody to yell at. I could never understand why Cowher only pulls a nutty on his punters and kickers. Does anyone think Bill Bellicheck wouldn’t make anybody on his team god deaf if they screwed up horribly? Bellicheck will bite Tom Brady’s ear off if he makes a dumb play. Could there be any coincidence between this and their AFC championship/Super Bowl records?
The judges score it: Cowher: 1-5, Bellicheck 6-0. Winner and still champion: Bellicheck.
1:48: 6:00 to go and this game will be close. Oops, I was wrong. POLUMALU pick!!! That was simply an All-Pro badass diving pick. He IS like Bugs Bunny.
1:49: Following a Peyton Manning interception, it is a perfect time for a Peyton Manning fan commercial. You must admit, Mastercard crafted a priceless commercial. D-CAF!!! D-CAF!!! To be honest, I genuinely like Peyton Manning, he won my fantasy league for me last year, but will this guy ever win a big game?
1:51: I’m pouring the celebratory shots and the day gets even better as we see a second Love-Monkey promo. I give it an Over/Under of eight episodes.
1:53: CBS with great camera work reveals that Polamalu wears his wedding ring under his glove. Robin is on the verge of tears.
1:54: Cohen calls:
Cohen: Didn’t I call it for the Steelers? They are going to the Super Bowl.
Sobe: Replay called back!!! (on the verge of a nervous breakdown) I gotta get off the phone.
1:55: Replay calls the play back. Worst use of replay ever. Get rid of it. Awful.
1:57: Of course they have all the momentum, two big passes to the 3.
1:59: Two-point conversion good: AWWWWW horseshit! The referees handed that drive to the Colts. That replay created a new addition to the rule book and I can’t believe we found a call 10,000 times worse than the tuck-rule call.
2:01: Dad call: “Somebody has more control than the people on the field for who they want to play. I thought football was free of bias and free of cheating. Its not the NBA after all.” He is totally right, I will get into this is the future, but the NBA is totally shaped by what the league office wants. I’m not sure the NFL didn’t do the same thing here, so please don’t call me crazy here. I love that the media is selectively bias and naïve with sports. They constantly point out that sports is a business, but why then wouldn’t sports, to protect their multi-billion dollar investment tinker with games a little to make more money. It really makes sense; league control over results is a great business strategy. Plus, if I had that much money, I would not have a soul either.
2:05: Another pathetic draw!!! Christ Cowher, why are you so damn conservative. The defense will have to win this one. (I’m psychic)
2:07: My pants are soiled as the Colts need 82 yards for a win, with 2:32 to play, and did I mention one of the best offenses ever? The first play reveals the Colts’ destiny because I have no idea how Manning gets a pass off while wrapped up by two guys.
2:09: I still feel so cheated. I really hope the Steelers are more mentally tough than my Dad and I, cause we are crushed. I’d crumble here.
2:10: In a furious rush of steel-bending force Joey Porter unloads on Peyton for the sack. TAKE THAT NFL. It’s 4th and 16 now and of course bemoans, “We have neighbors, and you keep swearing and talking about cheating.”
2:11: BLITZBURGH SACK!!! Porter: two sacks in three plays. BALLGAME!!! Can I say, STEELERS AGAINST THE WORLD! (This is called “jumping the gun”)
2:13: In maybe the worst moment of my life, Bettis fumbles, and the flesh-wounded Nick Harper returns it to the 40. Absolutely nothing worse could have happened, but Ben saves the day with a tackle.
Worst moments of my life (in no particular order):
1. Khalid El-Amin buries a runner -after my first man crush Vonteego Cummings throws the ball away- on Pitt after we squandered a seven point lead and could have upset the number one team in the country. I didn’t get over this Pitt loss until we beat UConn to win the Big East tourney title.
2. Beloved Cleocatra is on her deathbed on Christmas day. Yes, it was a cat, but my Dad and I both knew before we touched a present that we would have to put down the coolest little cat. What a Christmas? Shutup, seriously, when you have a pet and treat it right, its like a child. The poor thing had diabetes and we had to give it shots every day, I knew that day we were good people.
3. Bettis fumble.
2:14: The Colts are basically in field goal range. I’m gonna cry. Bettis is gonna cry. And second round pick Bryant McFadden has great coverage on Reggie Wayne to stops a TD and nearly picks the next pass off. What an awesome draft this past year for the Steelers! I’ll just ignore Fred Gibson.
2:16: Alright, 4th down. 46 yards to tie. If it goes to overtime, we’re done. Vander-jaaaaaaackttttttt, shanked it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!! SWEET JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2:18: I’m hyper-ventilating. It was not even close. Its justice. Ok, there is a God, Bettis did not deserve that.
2:20: You know what Colts’ fans; blame Canada.
2:21: Why do kneel downs still stress me out? I’m violently shaking. I’m not kidding. I can’t type.
2:24: My Pittsburgh phone can’t get through to anybody, all circuits are busy everywhere. WOW. I love this city.
2:25: Vince: I’m crying, we couldn’t have played better. You gotta go, you gotta
tailgate, you gotta tell all of your students to lick each other’s asses all week. I’m
crying.
Sobe: I’ll be there, even if I get beat up, I’ll be there.
2:27: Cohen: they would have hung Bettis.
2:30: I’m still twitching!
2:31: 10 minutes after the game ends, still all circuits are busy
2:32: Jared from Subway in a Colts jersey. No wonder this is my brother’s arch enemy. In a debate one time, my brother said if he could hit one person in the world in the face with a shovel, it would be Jared. A second person: Julie Andrews. What?
2:33: I’m not sure my Dad is happy. He is still bitchin’ about Bettis and the play calling, and says he won’t invest the time next week, yeah right. I hear my Mom seven times scream we’re coming to Denver.
2:37: Derek: my body doesn’t feel right, I need something to settle me down. I’ve never
seen that referee before. And I watch way too much football.
Sobe: He never deserves to work another game again.
3:00: GLUM: (my left tackle sized friend) I’m so physically screwed up that I can’t
even eat wings. (If you knew Glum, you would be totally worried, think about it, his name is Glum.)
Well, a week of school in Denver and I will be alone on my island supporting my boys as they head to Detroit for the worst Super Bowl reward ever. Detroit is so bad the visitors for the game will go to Canada for their strippers. Anyway, I can’t live this one up a little with tomorrow off. Did I mention how cool Martin Luther King Jr. was.