1-22-06
Jon Sobolewski
Sobeball.com
From the archives...
Monday: Martin Luther King Jr. Day
Being off today is just another reason of how great a man Dr. King was. I absolutely needed this one off, even though all kids in America should be forced to come to school that day and learn all the struggles he faced and how difficult the civil rights era really was for our country. I really believe this, because younger generations do not have enough of an appreciation for the rights and changes that brave people fought for to improve our country. As far as the 2005-2006 Steelers, I still cannot get over this one, my body took three hours to recover from the Colts game, but it doesn’t matter how it happens, its AFC Championship time.
Denver is pretty amped up today and their homer sports radio personalities are doing a great job of homering it up. Two particular knuckleheads in the morning are acting appalled that ESPN’s Gene Wojciechowski would propose the idea that New England lost the game as opposed to the Broncos winning it. Whatever happened to objectivity for journalists? I apologize here; these guys are not journalists, they are fans. Why not just put any joe-schmos on the air then to talk about the game? It bewildered me that they could not admit that the Patriots own mistakes had a lot to do with that outcome. The Broncos scored 21 points and only had to gain 17 yards to do so. Only three of their 27 points required them to sustain a drive. Anyone watching the game could not possibly believe the Broncos were clearly the better team. Those teams were evenly matched and ALL the bounces went Denver’s way. With this in mind, I feel good about the Steelers chances.
Tuesday: Camping out on Steeler Island
I must complement my school district and administration for scheduling a workday for us without kids. I’m still not totally recovered, as I keep picturing the Polamalu interception over and over again. The NFL admitted today that their officials blew the call, so I do get some vindication from that, but they can never give back those years that the game took off the end of my life. On a more interesting note, in my mind, no doubt exists, that I must venture out on an island (make that Steeler Island) and show my Pittsburgh pride. A faculty auction provided a wonderful stage ready for my seizing. In a freak coincidence, an autographed Mario Lemieux hockey puck was up for grabs in this auction, for which the proceeds were going to establish a scholarship fund for the young children of a faculty member who tragically lost her police officer husband this past fall. The auction was a wonderful thing and I knew I needed to give my money for something so of course the puck was perfect.
Precisely when “SOLD” was declared, I rose up to reveal my black Steelers hood and NFL-licensed official Steelers hat that Big Ben always sports backwards. If my attire didn’t arouse the anger of Denver fans, my bellowing “Go Steelers” certainly did. After being brutally bombarded with boos, a small growth developed on my shoulder: it was a chip.
Wednesday: 10 Questions
This series of questions have been brought up to me in conversation since the Colts game and are burning a hole in my skull.I do this at work, wearing a black shirt, gold tie, and an increasingly bigger chip on my shoulder.
1. How bad was the Polamalu interception call? Joey Porter accused the NFL of cheating and did not get fined.
2. How much do Steelers fans care? A Pittsburgh fan literally has a heart attack following the Bettis fumble. The most amazing thing about the whole incident is: Pittsburgh does not see what is wrong with that and instead celebrates it as proof of how dedicated we are to the Steelers. Isn’t there a Friday Night Lights lesson to be learned here?
3. Is Cowher too conservative with a lead? Absolutely. Can anyone disagree?
4. If the Steelers were on the Real World/Road Rules challenge, who would win? Hines Ward: he enjoys going out of his way to bring the pain and enjoys it, he would knock the snot out of Coral. Aaron Smith: he stays under the radar and just keeps doing the job, and when it comes time to hand out the prizes, everyone will think he deserves it because he’d get a new helmet that actually makes his head look normal.
5. If the Steelers had a battle royale, who would win? Remember, this is not the Royal Rumble, in a battle royale everyone starts at the same time. With that in mind, I go with Casey Hampton. As we have all seen, two offensive lineman can’t move Hampton, so he wins this one. Could you imagine he and Faneca in singlets trying to flip each other over the top rope?
6. Could there be a worse home for the Super Bowl than Detroit? No. Although, St. Louis would be close.
7. Who are the most overrated/underrated Steelers? If you would have asked me one month ago, many would have agreed with me on Joey Porter, but now I have to go with Antwan Randle-El. For being our number two wide receiver and considering all the attention Hines Ward gets, shouldn’t he be doing way more? Plus, he annually wins the stats title for yards lost by running backwards. If you asked me to go back and decide between Randle-El and Antonio Bryant, who the Steelers passed on, I go with Bryant, who can actually go deep. As far as underrated, I take Aaron Smith. His production for a 3-4 defensive end is out of sight and he looks like Frankenstein minus the bolts outside of his helmet.
8. Gladys Bettis or Mama McNabb? Gladys in a landslide. She didn’t sell out to be in a Chunky Soup commercial and she raised a so much cooler child and way less of a bitch.
9. What Pirate could play for the Steelers? This is a tough one, but my pick is Humberto Cota. How much fun would a guy named Humberto be in the locker room? He could be the kicker for all I care, just get him on the roster.
10. What is the score going to be? 21-13 Steelers. I feel good. (I am knocking so hard on wood right now)
Thursday: Battle of the Cities
Much is being made of Rocky Mountain News columnist Bill Johnson’s article calling Pittsburgh butt ugly and what not, but it is not worth getting angry over. Johnson is the token trouble-making writer on the ugly stepsister paper of Denver. So instead, I will do a fair comparison of what people care about while sporting a Gold Steelers shirt, Steelers hard helmet, and a terrible towel tucked into the front of my pants like I needed to wipe my mud-covered hands on.
|
Issue |
Pittsburgh |
Denver |
Pick |
|
Beer Sponsor |
Iron City: Not the greatest beer ever and its finances are ugly, but they make Old German. Its easily the best $8 beer ever. |
Coors: While it is not the only local beer, it is a huge sponsor and Coors Light tastes like water. For Denver-area brews, I prefer Boulder Buffalo Gold or Breckenridge Brewery’s Avalanche. |
Pittsburgh |
|
Skyline |
Pittsburgh is gorgeous, it really is. Former Pitt forward Chevy Troutman actually said, that coming through the Fort Pitt Tunnels made him choose Pitt. |
Can you beat the mountains? Looking any other direction than West is bad, but if you haven’t seen the Rocky Mountains, you need to go west young man.* |
Denver |
|
Food |
Pittsburgh has so much ethnic character in its food and Primanti’s is just so cool. The great restaurants in Oakland are so underappreciated. |
Denver is chains, chains, chains. This just doesn’t work, although, while not totally a Denver thing, buffalo burgers are good |
Pittsburgh |
|
Cleanliness |
This isn’t steel mill Pittsburgh, but how bad is the snow when it has been around for a week? |
Its pretty clean, the environment is important here and it shows. |
Denver |
|
Cost of living |
Pittsburgh is so affordable it is unbelievable and the most underrated thing about Pittsburgh: cheep nights out. |
Impossible real estate values and you can’t get a beer below $3.50 on most nights. |
Pittsburgh (in a landslide) |
|
Weather |
Is Pittsburgh not among the worst in the nation? |
300 days of sunshine, less snow than Pittsburgh, and often 50 degree days in January. |
Denver (in a landslide) |
|
Colleges |
Carnegie Mellon and Pitt in the same city! Do Pittsburghers realize how good those two are? Plus Duquesne is not too shabby. |
Denver University is a very good school, but can’t beat CMU and Pitt, although it tops Duquesne. |
Pittsburgh |
|
Stadium |
Heinz Field looks like a metallic Big Bird. |
Invesco Field looks like it has a cheesy roller coaster on its edges. |
Push |
|
Fans |
Bordering on insane, is there any better fans in any pro sport in this country? |
Good, but a conversation I had with a colleague explains it all. Said colleague went to a Broncos game wearing his hometown Browns gear looking to jaw a little and only one fan started with him: a random Steelers fan. |
Pittsburgh |
The winner and still champion: PITTSBURGH 5-3.
*If you haven't been out west to actually see how big the sky is, I can't describe it to you. The sky is literally 100 times bigger than any view you can possibly have in Pittsburgh. Because there is so little to pollute the air (meaning light, structures, and natural landscapes) you can see forever; the western horizon is proof that there is some sort of God. It is absolutely breathtaking, the big open sky is the one thing that people who never leave the East coast will be badly damaged by if they never see it.
Friday: Alone on Steeler Island.
In a move as bold as anything Marlon Brando did in On the Waterfront, I decided to email the entire faculty, clerical staff, and administration at my school (over 120 people) with a message titled “Very Important Message.” When clicking on this important message, my coworkers would see…
“Lets go Steelers!”
Some of my replies were as follows:
“Dear Jon, (
A Dear Jon letter of a different sort),
You live in Colorado now. Get used to it! You are in BRONCOLAND!
Fondly Orange,”
“Oh, my! We'll have to talk on Monday!”
“You're hilarious.”
“1,2,3-GO BRONCOS !”
“good for you-
I like having the pot stirred up!
I am a native from here, raised watching Bronco games- but now I could care less
and get tired of hearing subjective (often ignorant) remarks that are over-the
top about the Broncos!!
On my way to work I was thinking- damn I should have wore yellow with this black
today to stir the pot (I heard on the radio that the gov. and mayor both are
calling this some kink of wear bronco colors day- yuck)!
I hope that the Steelers play well, and have turn the ball over less than the
Broncos.”
“No calling in sick on Monday!!”
“That takes some marbles man!!! Good Job”
“Yea, Steelers....go to Pissburg, you bumblebee lookin nuckle draggin steel smellin LOSERS!”
My attire for the day: Steelers hard hat, Hines Ward Jersey, and terrible towel in position to keep my hands dry. Also, during the day, my mentor teacher stole my terrible towel, a “Go Broncos, Steelers Suck” sign ended up on my door, and I was booed entering the main office. But, by far the best moment of the day, was my three assistant principals attacking me in front of my students. The three lovely Bronco gear-clad ladies went with the sneak attack, so I had only one option: go to the fetal position. However, my class they came into made a bet that I get to record them saying “Lets Go Steelers” the Friday before the Super Bowl or I wear Broncos gear on Monday. My best moment likely was driving out of the parking lot honking and waving my terrible towel. I was so proud of myself today, my sense of pride ranked above how I would feel if I was going steady with Kelly Kapowski and below “playing” Mr. And Mrs. Smith with Angelina Jolie.
Saturday: Hmmm
Not much to say today except the local radio guys keeping making fun of the Roethlisburger. I just wonder, does anyone in Pittsburgh actually really care about it? Who eats it? How many people actually go to Pepi’s?
Sunday: Total Domination
The game, to a fan outside of the two cities, had to be bored out of their mind. The most interesting part of the day, of course, had to be my five trips outside my front door, to scream, "That's Steeler Foooooooo-baaaaall!" I'm so proud of my team today; I'm not sure there was ever any doubt. I am grossly confident, that there is nothing negative a Denver fan can say to me tomorrow that does not permanently label them a whiny bitch. My best moment, and most revealing of Denver fans happened when my colleague called about twenty minutes after the game. This woman and her husband are complete diehards, they are natives of Denver (which a surprisingly small amount of people over 30 are), and she wanted to beat my ass all week. She probably could have beat my ass too; she's old-school, there isn't a kid in the building who doesn't fear or respect her (our school is far from Suburbia Mansion Academy). In the classiest move since anything Cal Ripken did after the strike, they called me, offered their congratulations, and declared their support for the Steelers in the Super Bowl. This lone phone call proved to me, that Broncos have one thing following a loss that Steelers fans don't: a soul.
Monday: The biggest smile of my life
I had nothing to say today, as the Steelers said everything for me. I collected my winning a bets: a six-pack, a coke, a Dr. Pepper, my students chanting "lets go Steelers", and of course dozens of "Congratulations, you guys are the better team." Two weeks until the Monday morning that the Steelers are Super Bowl champions. I'm knocking so hard on wood now that my knuckles are bloodier than Uma Thurman's when she is trying to get out of the coffin in Kill Bill Volume 2.